But squaring the series is a must as the best route to a good time in Australia has always been simple: winning
Vithushan Ehantharajah27-Nov-20252:51
Ehantharajah: This defeat will hurt for England
You do not just come to Australia for the Ashes, you come for the heat.No amount of factor 50 can prepare an English soul for what it is like to be a cricketer under the full, scorching might of a country and its peoples hellbent on making you regret daring to harbour ambition on the way in. As the current England squad have realised early in this tour, the sun might be the most forgiving bit.English cricketers always love coming here, until the actual cricket ruins it, as per two of the 24 days they have just spent in Perth. For the best part of a day, and certainly at lunch on day two of the first Test at the Optus Stadium, leading by 99 with nine second-innings wickets still intact, there was nowhere else they’d rather be.That remains the case. England are only 1-0 down, genuine positives to hold dear even if the noise around them feels more like this is a campaign on the verge of derailing. They arrived in Brisbane on Wednesday a little more wary of the world around them, and certainly under no illusions that “playing Australia” is not simply about squaring up to an Australian Test team set to be reinforced by talismanic captain Pat Cummins.By all accounts, confidence remains high, if a little dented. And while the scale of the country was known to most of them before they touched down at the start of November, even with only five of the squad carrying previous Ashes tour experience, the focus upon them could not be clearer.Related
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The lessons learned from the last three weeks are not limited to the perils of driving on the up outside off stump. Though Brendon McCullum, Ben Stokes and Joe Root have spent the last couple of months publicly and privately bringing newbies up to speed on the attention they will garner, this has been a crash course in how confronting sporting Australiana can be.The front pages of the smirked at them at every venture to a coffee shop. The throngs of reporters and cameras at media events in the lead-up to the opening Test was, all told, full-on but welcome. Granted, some of the questioning jarred – on “moral victories” and Jonny Bairstow’s run-out two years ago – but all it did was confirm what they knew. This really was the series that matters most. Hold onto your butts.What the management could not prepare the players for was the relentlessness of it all. Even before England were thrashed by eight wickets, those – including Stokes – who hit the Joondalup Resort Golf Course were surprised to see cameras (and drones) waiting for them on the ninth hole. Television crews, having caught wind of the team’s plans, set themselves up on an adjoining public park to skirt any infringement on private property.The tourists and cameras rented at the same course on Monday, two days after the “shellshock” of Travis Head’s match-clinching century. Elsewhere, Jofra Archer and Shoaib Bashir were shot leaving an aquarium, a vision opportunity almost certainly tipped off by the former’s innocent Instagram story post.Ben Stokes, Joe Root and Harry Brook look bewildered as they leave the field in Perth•Getty ImagesThe cultural differences between cricket on either side of the globe matter here. English cricket is a different world, and much of that is down to Australia’s media landscape.For two months of an Ashes cycle, the game over here is so much more important, and that much more entrenched in the national consciousness, to an enviable degree. Talkback radio and TV news culture thrive. A case in point – crosses back to the east coast had reporters up and outside the Optus working from 3am on matchdays.The spare three days meant plenty of gaps to be filled and, increasingly, more damning assessments of the England team. The extremes of this all have made for morose and – and, cards on the table – at times entertaining filler.The Ashes brings out the America in Australia; every spot on the sporting discourse spectrum at least three deep. There are still four matches and about six weeks to go and we’re already at the “Philadelphia rage” stage, where minutes separate the extremes of febrile gloating and fevered critiques.Right now, the discourse is clear. Travis Head is father. Usman Khawaja is for the glue factory. Golf is for whiny losers, except when Australia do it, of course. Apart from you, Uzzie. England, by the way – trash. Bazball? Kids, avert your ears.Unfortunately for England, Brisbane might be the most Philadelphia in this corner of the globe. The shot to the forefront of English minds during the 2013-14 tour in their crusade against a certain “27-year-old medium-pace bowler” (Stuart Broad). Who knows what they have cooking leading up to the second Test at the Gabba, which kicks off next Thursday.
“These Big Bad Wolves and Babadooks dishing out regular hot takes presents a new challenge for a generation of cricketer often doomscrolling on Instagram”
Another fascinating dynamic unique to all this is the rise in ex-pro podcasts. Australia’s scene has been thriving for some time, but this might be the first Ashes series where their prevalence cannot be overlooked or undersold.Matthew Hayden’s headline-grabbing promise to waltz nude across the MCG if Root went hundred-less this series came via this medium, on All Over Bar The Cricket, which he hosts with former Australia team-mate Greg Blewett and former Sheffield Shield cricketer-turned media personality James Brayshaw. That Brad Haddin is joining TNT’s coverage for the second Test is in no small part due to his presence on the engaging Willow Talk Cricket Podcast, as one of three co-hosts alongside Adam Peacock and Australia Women stalwart Alyssa Healy.That’s not to ignore Haddin’s place as a prime rabbler of the English. But Australia overflows with main characters involved in previous English Ashes nightmares. And the presence of these Big Bad Wolves and Babadooks dishing out regular hot takes presents a new challenge for a generation of cricketer often doomscrolling on Instagram. It’s not the spiders in the mailboxes you have to worry about, it’s the Australian legends in the reels.Jofra Archer is interviewed on arrival at Perth international airport•Getty ImagesAnd so, at a time when Ashes battles are being fought on more frontiers than ever before, England need to find their happy realities. It is worth noting there is plenty of mid-ground here, even if England feel like they don’t have a footing in that either.The situation over the Canberra match against the Prime Minister’s XI is a great example of this space. Former Australian cricketers Stuart Law and Peter Siddle are two who have come out in the last few days to offer reasons why shunning Manuka Oval – and valuable pink ball experience – is understandable, given the lack of bounce this weekend will not prepare them adequately for the Gabba.It is a stance at odds with the mountains of ire on this topic, most of it from the UK. And as ever, the result of the second Test will govern truly how big a misstep it is. Losing the first Test gives them less wiggle room and it surely cannot be a great stretch to suggest playing cricket helps you get better at playing cricket.At the same time, there is an argument to be made that had most of the squad headed to Canberra – thus changing plans that have been in place since the home summer – it would have been a sign of panic.That might be the takeaway from all this: England are not panicking. Yet.They feel they did a lot right in Perth in terms of preparation and even in the Test, for half of day one and the first session of day two at least. Players trained hard and did not spend their spare time worrying about the optics. Their spare time was just that; fishing trips, visits to Rottnest Island and Cottesloe Beach and, yes, golf.Even the Lions combined work and pleasure by putting miles into their legs with a running exercise combined with a treasure hunt across Perth. De-stressing with one eye on how others might judge is stressful.The program for Brisbane is not all that different. They will enjoy the courses and various waters before locking back in from Saturday, starting with a morning session at Allan Border Field. Then comes four training sessions at the Gabba ahead of the Test, with Monday’s and Wednesday’s taking place at night for some invaluable work under lights.Keeping level is paramount. Squaring the series next week a must. The best route to a good time in Australia has always been simple – and that’s by winning.